i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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