Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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