Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
