Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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