I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize