OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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