Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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