You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
