Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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