What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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