Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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