morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Terrible idea I love it
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
