i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
