Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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