So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize