You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
