you guys were way drunker than both of me
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
