Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
