Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
