Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
