On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize