So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Randomize
