hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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