Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
