why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
