It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
