You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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