i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
