Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
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