He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
