i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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