Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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