I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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