we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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