The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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