Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
