The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
