wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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