Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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