My sheets look like a crime scene.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
