How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
