I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
