every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It's blow job season.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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