end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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