Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
