I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
