we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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