I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
