Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
