Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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