Are we in a gay sports bar?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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