I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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