I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
