fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
