can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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