you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
