New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
