She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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