I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
