I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Mom said you looked used
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
